It seems like hard work and I are best friends. In fact, hard work has been dogging my heels my whole life. I would like to say that everything has been easy in my life, but that would be a lie. Nothing has been easy and while I used to resent this part of my reality, now I realize that I am blessed to know what I’m capable of achieving despite all of the tough breaks that I have encountered in my life.
Hard Work is A Gift:
Yes, you read correctly. I now believe that the ability to work hard, set goals, and attain them is a gift. I am in fact hugely against what is currently happening in the U.S.-the whimpifying of American people and children.
I don’t agree with the following:
- Grade inflation-Total bull. If you didn’t earn it you don’t deserve it.
- Political correctness (you can be kind and still tell the truth)
- Letting adult kids live with their parents way too long– I don’t mind parents helping their kids…just not forever.
- Not charging kids for rent when living with family-Charge less, but you have to pay to play
- Allowance-Kids get free food, clothes, and housing. Enough said.
So you get where I’m going with this. I’m not saying these things to be mean. Or, to tell people to be mean to people in their life. I’m saying that the ability to manage difficulties that come up in your life is one of the major skills sets that will build character and intellectual growth over the long run. Or, when difficult times happen you may become bitter because you will resent them. The point is, how you deal with these moments in your life says a lot about YOU.
I’m going to tell you a secret: I used to be a whiner:
Like a lot of people I used to be upset because I’ve had tough times. I’ve had very little support financially as an adult, and have had to manage most of the things in my adult life with very little support.
But, you have have to understand though that in some ways I was very spoiled by my family. I am the oldest grandchild by 8 years and was given everything that I wanted. My parents divorced when I was 7 and my mom continued to work hard so that we could have a good life.
I was given:
- Ballet lessons
- Gymnastics
- Took violin
- Went to the YMCA, also learned how to horseback ride as a part of that.
- Outward Bound-3 weeks of back packing through the Rocky Mountains. (Currently this experience is almost $3000)
- Sleep away camp (8 weeks) I’m afraid to tell you how much this costs
- I was also a debutante. Really. I had a year’s worth of comportment training. I even had to walk with a book on my head so that I would walk with correct posture.
The thing is while I knew my mom was working hard, I just didn’t get how hard she was working because I was young and spoiled. I began working at 16 and finally understood what work was. That was when I began to build some character. But, the whining still continued internally. I would compare myself to others and ask myself why was my life so hard? Why did I have to work so hard? Don’t I deserve what everyone else has? The thing I had to understand is this:
What is going on with other people’s lives has nothing to do with me:
When I was actively comparing myself to other people I forgot several important issues:
- I have no idea what’s happening behind someone else’s closed door.
- It’s easy to look wealthy with credit.
- I should focus on myself
I was so busy whining, that I was unable
to
focus on winning.
All of the hard times that I have gone through have helped build my character and have shown me that I can do anything that I put my mind to-as long as I work hard enough. The journey is what will make or break us and I am now very grateful for the tough times that I’ve gone through.
I Now Embrace Hard Work With Open Arms
Whenever hard work knocks on my door I now great it like an old friend instead of my enemy. Because stuff happens in life. I’ve learned ingenuity, tenacity, and how to trust my gut because of hard work and crappy times.
So, I will continue to work hard and roll with the punches. I’m building character, or, that’s what I’m telling myself 🙂
What do you think? Am I being too hard on people? Are you noticing people who are afraid to work hard? Is it society? Parents? Or, the individual at fault?
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I love the point that its easy to look wealthy with credit. I never compare myself to other people because like you said you don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. I have been working hard on teaching my daughter this because I want her to be comfortable in her own skin and celebrate her own accomplishments.
It has taken me a long time to understand that what you see isn’t always what you get. I’ve also had to work on being thankful and appreciative of what I already have. Now I feel a lot more secure about making decisions that are right for me and sticking with them!
Omg Michelle. I’m such a whiner. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the bad habit of whining. But you’re right, hard work is just a necessary evil to getting ahead in life. I’m reading #girlboss right now – have you heard of it? The author touches on a lot of points that you do like how some people feel entitled to things without doing the work etc. when hard work is what builds character. Totally recommend it!
Taylor, don’t be too hard on yourself-we have been programmed to be dissatisfied! Success is a byproduct of hard work. When I look at how hard very successful people work it’s a bit humbling and a bit of a kick in the pants. I have read #Girlboss! and it is a fantastic book. I love it!
No. I don’t think you’re being too hard. I’m finding there are segments (at least in my world) of people who get it done and those who…don’t. Obviously, I spend less time with the later. I’m really trying to surround myself with the like-minded so that energy can rub off. I think we have well meaning, but ill advised people with mega phones that are giving the public a bad visual. We emphasize the fruits of people’s success, but not the work, dedication, and persistence it took to achieve it. So there’s a disconnect.
My husband was totally against the idea of allowance (thus the FB post earlier). We didn’t get it growing up so it’s not a must. I agree, they sleep, eat, and mess up here – chores will be part of the expectation. Plus I’m nobody’s personal waitstaff. I’m just wondering at a young age if they do extra stuff or look for services to provide outside of routine chores, should we pay. Hubby still said no, but he would help them develop their first business (cool with that as long as they don’t have to go outside by themselves – paper routes may be a thing of the past anyway. LOL). That’s where we left it.
Great post chica!
Some people just want to get it done and keep on going. Two weeks ago I visited my Grandma for our Christmas gift. I asked her about her past working life because I am interested in her stories. She talked about how she would wake up at 4:00 a.m. EVERYDAY day and fed her kids, prepped for the day went to her first job helping an elderly woman, then, she went to her second job WELDING, then she went to her third job at a cafeteria. Then, she came home and took care of the kids. I asked her why she worked so hard she said “I wanted good things for my kids. And didn’t want them going around raggedy.” (she really did say this) the point is she worked so hard and now is able to enjoy a fantastic retirement. Paid off house, fur coat, brand new car, and exercise classes. I think overall she is very happy with how her life has turned out.
I am very anti-allowance. But, I think what you’re grappling with is how to educate your children about money and responsibility. I love the business idea because my little cousin (who is now 6′ 4″) used to always have those and now he’s doing very well!! I am 100% convinced that entrepreneurship is the key to wealth. I see money making opportunities everywhere now that I am working on growing my side business. Once you understand that you can make your own money it’s a whole new ballgame. You should write a post about that conversation with the hubby.
I’m all for working very hard, but with the added questions, “why are you working so hard?” Meaning are you working hard for the wrong reasons? More stuff? Just so you can put your kids in the “best schools? I see people sometimes work TOO hard for those reasons and then they have bad relationships, poor health, etc. I don’t know statistically if people don’t want to work hard nowadays. It does seem like younger generations want the “perfect” job that will make them deliriously happy, which may or may not exist. Probably doesn’t. lol!
Sometimes I just make the assumption that people know their “why” but honestly you bring up a really good point! I worked for many years just working, not being clear about the “why” and it was an exercise in frustration-what was the point? I am also alluding to the “perfect” job mentality but maybe that’s just the hubris of youth?
Love this post, Michelle! I was complaining the other day that I never slow down. But hard work has paid off for me, so… I’ll keep going! 🙂
It sounds like you know your “why”! And are clear about what motivates you to work hard. I’m with you, especially now that I’m clear about what I want for myself. That was the key 🙂
Actually my post tomorrow touches on the point that I work too hard! My work ethic is on a level where most people don’t operate and that isn’t always a good thing (not taking proper care of my health in all aspects). I do see people around me who appear to be lazy. Some truly are, where others have decided that they don’t need to exert a ridiculous amount of effort in order to achieve what they need and want. I am starting to lean a little in the latter direction. Work smart, not hard as the saying goes.
Tonya made really good point about being clear about why you’re working so hard. I think your point hits on balance. I have lived a very, very unbalanced life for many years now and there is a point where you just can’t sustain it: mentally, physically, or emotionally. I can’t wait to read your post!
I also agree with Tonya’s point – it’s important to know the reason you’re working so hard. I struggle to commit to hard work sometimes because I’m not sure that the purpose of it is worth the other sacrifices I might have to make, like time with friend, family, health etc. I’m really putting some effort in at the moment to prioritising goals and values, so that when I do work hard, I know exactly why I’m doing it, and what I’m prepared to sacrifice.
But I completely agree that the worst is people who complain about wanting something, but aren’t doing everything they possibly can to get it! Either stop complaining and enjoy what you have, or work harder!
It’s funny because I spent a lot of years spinning my wheels working hard just to work and survive. I’m really glad that Tonya brought up that point! Now that I have very clear: goals, reasons, and a plan the work isn’t as painful as before 🙂 I love your last point-I’m sick of the complainers and I hear them a lot.
It’s so cliche, but I really truly believe that hard work builds character. Like you, my mom spoiled the crap out of me when I was a kid and I still thought I didn’t get everything that I wanted! It wasn’t until I started working while going to school that I realized the value of hard work.
Hard work DOES build character. It’s just the truth.
Hi Michelle,
Thanks for your post. Sometimes I end up thinking about why the people I’ve gone to school with complain and whine so much, and it really fills up my brain. They’ve either had a free education and/or free room and board, and I haven’t had either. I have a master’s degree (in physics) and my full time jobs have been sporadic. But instead of whining, I work part time (to pay my bills) while looking for a full time job. And let me tell you, they would never do what I do to earn money: they’d never work in a kitchen or do craigslist gigs to make ends meet because they’re too damn good. I’ve also been working since I was 14.
I think that some people just aren’t as resilient as others. You have an inner strength and drive that a lot of people just don’t seem to have during this day in age. Like you, I’ve worked some crap jobs (literally-dealing with crap…cleaning toilets). Many people feel like they are “above” certain types of work. I’m not. I will do whatever is legal to hustle and make things meet. I’m in your corner and you’ve got this!