I originally had a different post planned for today but I found that I just couldn’t ignore the events that happened this weekend, the psychic toll it has taken on me and my feelings surrounding what has become common place in America.
Mass Shootings
No, I won’t talk about gun control. I want to talk about the reality we are living and don’t want to discuss. Americans think living like this is normal. We think it’s normal to turn on the t.v. and see people fleeing from public spaces, schools, and places of worship.
But, it’s not normal. In fact, it’s an aberrant situation that doesn’t really occur in other parts of the world.
Terrorism vs. Someone Being “Triggered”
Let’s be clear about this-we are being terrorized by these acts. Whether it’s an actual terrorist who was an AMERICAN that happened to be a Muslim on Ramadan. Or the White American Neo-Nazi who goes to a church and then shoots church goers-it’s all terrorism. Let’s stop splitting hairs.
Or, someone who is “triggered” and loses their sh$t in a moment of rage. We are still terrorized when this happens.
And, we’re going to hear people argue about gun control and other people argue about the Second Amendment.
And the reality is this.
We Really Don’t Care
Because if we cared, truly cared about: mental health, terrorism, gun availability we would stop bitching about things and start taking substantive actions. Like calling your Congressman, protesting, and being a part of conversations with people who are on the other side of the aisle. With people who you may respect but don’t agree with.
Like holding your elected officials accountable and making them DO THEIR JOBS.
The last 5, 6, or 7 times this has happened since I began this blog I vowed that I never wanted to write a post like this one. I thought that the disfunction concerning this issue would eventually, finally, experience a crack, fissure where both sides would admit that this situation can’t go on. It’s not going to happen. Pride, hubris, and being in the pockets of people who don’t give a sh$t about our way of life seem to be dictating the conversation concerning our safety. Our lives, our sanity. And, everyone has decided that if someone else doesn’t agree with their point of view then they aren’t worth listening to…which is bullsh$t. What happened to democracy? And the right to be heard-even when you don’t like what you’re hearing.
The American Dream
Used to include feeling safe, trusting that we could have a conversation with those people who disagree with our beliefs and actually feeling like we’ll be heard. I’ve lived in or spent extended periods of time in a number of different countries and while we are running from shooters, not taking our vacations because we’re afraid of losing our jobs, and fighting for family leave…other countries have learned from our mistakes and worked hard to do better.
We’ve Lost Our Way
There is no other way to say this. Politicians put themselves before the people. Citizens allowed themselves to be defined as consumers, and we’ve become detached to one another. We talk about one another disparagingly, we dress like bums, and it just feels like we’ve checked out as a collective.
And when you check out…things get out of control.
I’m tired. I’m sad. I’m done. But the reality is that I will wake up again to this type of news again and most likely this year. I will hear people saying that if everyone had been armed this wouldn’t have happened. But, it did. And, for the other 15 times that we have woken up to news of a mass shooting since 2007/2008 there were no armed people to take these shooters out.
I actually know how to shoot a gun. I have relatives who own guns. I have friends who manufacture guns. I also have friends who believe deeply in gun control. I’ve had great conversations with these sets of friends and have heard why they believe what they believe. Because I listened.
Fifteen
So, I ask the following question:
How do we get these two sides to listen?
And, what is the compromise?
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I think that Americans are in debt more than ever and people are working harder than ever so we have very little time to spend with family and friends and communities (volunteering, knowing our neighbors, having bbq’s and block parties), etc.
Our new communities are co-workers however they are not the same as family, friends, and neighbors because we compete with them and the relationships can be superficial. I’ve heard the same from other friends about this issue.
As a result we are disconnected from our loved ones and our mental health care system needs to provide mental health for all like through a pay as you go system or set up a payment plan to help even those that can’t afford it right now but need the help today.
Like those Columbine shooters, they needed help but no one helped them. Bullying is a huge problem which is why I’m either homeschooling or sending them to a private school., if I have kids.
Public schools seem overwhelmed these days.
Although I’m open to public school as long as it’s in a good neighborhood there are great public schools but I have found that the ones that are usually good, the parents are really involved with the kids, the school, etc. There’s open communication between kids, faculty, and parents.
My solutions:
-Provide mental health care even for the poor (give them a way to pay back or pay as they go).
-Give background checks to people that want to own a gun. It doesn’t have to be like a hardcore one, a simple one can go a long way.
-Get out of debt so that we can have more time for family, friends, and communities. Few people even volunteer these days because lack of time.
-Don’t give recognition to shooters (in certain European countries the media refuses to name shooters anymore). A lot of these people want notoriety.
-Be kind to others. A kind smile, five minutes of chatting, a half hour phone call, a weekend together with a family member or friend goes a long way. People feel less lonely when we make time for each other, less likely to seek out an angry way to get mad at the world.
I always love it when you stop by and comment. Your comments are always well-thought out, balanced and leave me thinking. I do think that it’s time to stop lending recognition to these people. Interestingly enough, mental health care is being approached in the same way as regular health care via the Affordable Health Medical Care Act. Background checks are so straightforward. If you’re not intending to do anything bad-who cares? I was very intrigued by your addressing the issue of debt and lack of human connection. One of the biggest reasons why I left my old job was because I was lonely. I just wanted/needed time to spend with the people that I care about and connect with new ones. People who are in well-established communities are easier to help when they begin to display the urge/compulsion to hurt others. I love the be kind to others. I am known for my resting smiling face and I am ok with it. I enjoy being pleasant and smile at others and I know how it makes me feel when people acknowledge that I’m here too. With a smile, an nod, a quick story. It seems so simple, but those are the actions that connect us. Looking forward to the next time you stop by and comment.