A Candid Conversation About Race in America - youramericanmoney
Author: Michelle
Description: Minneapolis, Denver, NYC, Oakland, Atlanta, Washington D.C., Louisville, San Jose, Des Moines, Detroit, and the list goes on. These are just some of the cities that have experienced protests in the past week and George Floyd’s murder and murder porn video was one of the catalysts for these protests. Let’s be clear-sooner or later this […]
Date: 2020-06-01T09:00:00+00:00

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# A Candid Conversation About Race in America

posted on 1 June, 2020

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Minneapolis, Denver, NYC, Oakland, Atlanta, Washington D.C., Louisville, San Jose, Des Moines, Detroit, and the list goes on. These are just some of the cities that have experienced protests in the past week and George Floyd’s murder and murder porn video was one of the catalysts for these protests. Let’s be clear-sooner or later this was going to happen. Things are NOT ok in America and America’s continuing issue with race, inequality, and the routine acceptance of the mistreatment of black people and other people of color came to a head in the last couple of days. Then, we had Amy Cooper in NYC calling the police on Christian Cooper unecessarily during a normal incident that plays out all the time-annoying people with their dogs off leash. That one call could have resulted in Christian Cooper’s death. In this episode I’m going to get candid about race in America, money and opportunity, and what’s next. This is a very difficult show for me to do because I have so many thoughts racing through my mind. The goal of this episode is to give a better perspective of what people are angry about and to leave with ideas of how we collective can do better. And, honestly, I have to say something about this and just so you know this is NOT the first time that I’ve talked about race and wealth in America on my website and podcast. But, it has been awhile. Buckle up.

*In order for me to support my blogging activities, I may receive monetary compensation or other types of remuneration for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial and/or link to any products or services from this blog. Please read my disclosure here.*

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## Listen to the Show

## This is Winning?

We are not “winning” in the US and haven’t been for many years. The fact of the matter is America, at its core, is dysfunctional and its dysfunction is currently on display and I’m here for it.

America is an incredibly wealthy country.

- It is considered a land of great opportunity and compared to other countries this is the case.
  - We just had a private company launch US based astronauts into space via SpaceX run by an immigrant
- But, with all of that wealth we also have
  - A huge problem with wealth distribution
  - Schools are unequal
  - Lack of access to affordable health care
  - A constant threat of danger due to gun related violence
  - Access to good paying jobs is decreasing as business move manufacturing off-shore

Americans also focus on the individual vs. the collective and that affects everything related to creating policies for citizens. Then, add racism to the mix and you get a dangerous mix.

I’m would like to paraphrase a couple of things that I’ve heard several times during the past week about the George Floyd protests.

- “Why are people looting? They’re tearing up businesses and their own town. Why can’t they protest without damaging property? Why can’t the protestors do it differently?”

- “George Floyd is just 1 man, I get that this was horrible but to riot and burn down your town for one person makes no sense”

Protest as a verb: express an objection to what someone has said or done (via the online dictionary)

I would like to point out three really important things to consider.

- First-Colin Kaepernick quietly protested by kneeling for years to protest black people getting shot by the police. He lost his livelihood, was ridiculed, and was blacklisted from a career that he could still have right now. He didn’t shout, he didn’t break anything, he just took the knee. And, he was told that he was protesting the wrong way. Which ironically people making the comment “why riot?” should be catching themselves on. I tend wonder did you also say that he was protesting the wrong way too.

- Second-It’s 2020 there’s video FOR EVERYTHING. While there are protestors looting, there are also groups of white people who seem organized tearing up buildings during protests. Leading other participants to ask them what the hell are they doing. In fact, that even happened here in Denver where a George Floyd demonstrator called out an Antifa asshole who was defacing a statue in front of the State Capital.

- Third-Why were people more concerned about the treatment of the DOG in the Amy Cooper video vs. the fact that Christian Cooper, US Citizen and a human being, could have been killed due to her actions. In case you’re like who’s Amy? She’s the chick who called the police on Christian Cooper, the black birder in NYC.

- Four-So, if the public at large values dogs and buildings more than my black life that’s something we need to reflect on.

## It’s NOT Just about George Floyd

The protests aren’t just about the murder of George Floyd. The murder was the catalyst for something that has been coming for awhile. People just weren’t paying attention. The protests are about the following:

- The ongoing acceptance of black people being murdered by the police (and other people) ON CAMERA and getting away with it is bullshit. And, we’re not going to take this anymore. And, in case you’re not clear about what Black American citizens have been killed for I will share the shortlist:
  - Jogging
  - Sleeping
  - Driving
  - Someone ELSE walking into OUR apartment
  - Walking home with candy after popping into the store
  - Shopping

- Black people accounted for 31% of police killing victims in 2012, even though they made up just 13% of the US population (Vox)

- Lack of opportunity in a land of plenty.

- Deepening poverty

- The almost daily rhetoric and actions taken by the current administration to systematically eliminate people’s rights
  - I’ve been voting by mail for 6 years and it’s glorious. A Republican Secretary of State helped implement the system here in Colorado and despite what is being said Republicans still manage to get elected in my state.

- Basically, people are fed up with everything.

## The Coronavirus

Added to this anger, is the anger associated with the Coronavirus response. It has not escaped my attention that the moment the talking points were that black/brown/and old people were the individuals most likely to die from the virus the conversation about it changed.

It felt like people were willing to sacrifice me and mine so that they could get hair cuts. That’s just shitty. I work for myself from home. But many people of color work in the following ways:

- In concession stands
- Restaurant work
- As guards
- In retail
- As cashiers
- In factories

Basically, in roles that require constant interaction with people. Increasing the likelihood of being exposed to the Coronavirus. But, those are also the jobs that people have lost because sporting events/restaurants/and retail won’t rebound for years.

Forty million people have lost their jobs and over 100,000 have lost their lives. As I watched the protests several questions came to mind about the people who were protesting.

- Who knew someone who had suffered at the hands of the police?

- Who had lost a job because of the virus and they had nothing else to lose?

- Who knew someone who had died because of the virus or gotten sick with lifelong physical and financial reprecussions?

- Who had experienced being roadblocked professionally because of the color of their skin?

- Who in the crowd has health insurance? Definitely not the 40 million people who have lost their jobs

I wasn’t just looking at the screen and seeing people that I didn’t know and couldn’t feel empathy for. I got it. I 100% get their anger because I share and I want to share a glimpse into my experience being black in America. I will also share some other people’s experiences as well.

- Every year I have at least a minimum of two incidents of white women clutching their purses when I walk by. Even when I have a giant purse on my shoulder.

- I’ve had people ignore me when I’m talking to them-blatantly.

- I’ve been roadblocked for promotions and told by the directors of the program that I worked for that they didn’t feel comfortable with me representing the program abroad.

- I’ve been followed in grocery and clothing stores.

- I’ve been referenced as the angry black woman

- I’ve been called the n-word.

- I have a file with all details related to my ability to vote and I am obsessive about this. Why? Because a key part of the act was invalidated in 2013, because jurisdictions are trying to levy poll taxes in order to be eligible to vote (looking at you Florida) and because of how fearful people are to allow fair and equal access to vote and how hard they work to surpress your vote. Which should tell those of you who don’t vote often how important your right to vote is.

- I would like to get married and have two little boys who look like their dad. But, I’m afraid of having little boys that other people feel free to: harass and kill.

- Depending on the situation I’m uncomfortable when the police are around and hate it when they drive near me when I’m driving. The last thing I want to deal with is any interaction with the police.

- I was sitting on a coffee shop patio with headphones on having a conversation with my mastermind group two weeks ago. There were other people on the patio talking as well. An older white woman reprimanded me for talking too loud. Don’t worry, I shut it down. But my friends Sandy Smith and Elle Martinez saw the whole thing. We were on a Zoom call.

- I worry about my black male relatives, male friends, and their male kids

- It is a normal thing for people of color to have a conversation with their children telling them that the police likely not protect them and more likely hurt or kill them because they are a threat.

My experience is nothing compared to what my other friends and family members have dealt with. Why is it that my full equality as a United State’s citizen is perceived as a threat to your equality? It makes no sense.

America will never be as great a country as it could be as long as the following remains true:

- The lack of willingness to have candid and painful conversations about race and inequality. Our unwillingness to have these conversations keep us from truly knowing one another.

- The continuing growth in the divide between the haves and have nots

- Lack of access to quality health care

- Lack of access to fair and equal ways to vote.

- We accept unequal treatment of citizens by people in positions of authority

- Those who benefit from a position of power don’t stand up for what’s right.

## Check Your Privilege

And, this comment is direct to not only white people but also other people of color who are doing well. Another person’s success doesn’t endanger you. It benefits you. I live in a nice neighborhood. During the Coronavirus outbreak (which is still happening) I would walk around the neighborhood. No one looked stressed. I would see people exercising, riding their bikes, and spending time with their kids.

Most of the people in my neighborhood work white collar jobs and let’s be candid-are white. They were having a very different experience of the Coronavirus situation than other people that I know.

- They were still getting paid to work or were able to work from home

- They had some resources available to them that insured that they would be able to take care of their personal expenses. Maybe not indefinitely, but for awhile.

- I heard or saw conversations about purchasing properties now because now would be a great time to do so.

- People had access to the internet and could continue to educate their kids via online learning, take fitness classes, and order food and clothing instead of going into grocery stores.

I include myself in these observations. I have these privileges too. As I improve my life, I can’t lose sight of how important it is to help other people along the way.

There is a reason why I am so passionate about sharing personal finance content and how people can empower themselves making money selling what they already know.What is my success if other people are suffering?

## What We Can Do

There is a lot that we can do to better the situation.

- When your friends of color tell you that they feel like something is racist or are sharing an experience that was painful or scary for them-listen. Don’t tell them how they should feel or how they should have reacted. It’s insulting. Just listen. In fact regardless of the issue active listening is an important skill to develop.

- Become self-aware, we all have our prejudiced or even racist thoughts regardless of color. Becoming self-aware of these biases helps us to manage them before they adversely affect someone else.

- POC-Some of your White friends might be struggling with how to have these conversations and genuinely want to be a part of the solution. Give them some grace as they make mistakes during the process. But, speak up so they don’t make them again. I’ve had some incredibly candid conversations with my white friends throughout the course of our friendships. I’ve had to because I was unwilling to let things slide by.

- Actions matter more than words and so does your inaction.
  - What you do when I’m not in the room when people are making jokes and comments says a lot about YOU. When people make shitty comments online-people that you know, what will you do? Will you say nothing and be complicit because it’s hard to stand up for people who aren’t in the room?
  - Basically, will you take the easy way out or do the heavy lifting which is hard. Which means you may lose friends and family.

- Be patient with one another. This is a lifetime of conversations.

- Connect people with opportunities that will grow their income and livelihoods.

- Become a personal and professional mentor.

- If you’re a cop, get rid of the racists who’ve embedded themselves into the force and embrace community policing which works.

- Write testimonials or better record video testimonials for a product/good/or service that a POC friend has. That POC friend could do the same.

## What Has Encouraged Me

- The line of white women who used their privilege and stood in front of black protestors so that they wouldn’t be harmed by the police.

- The police who marched with protestors-this happened in a number of cities

- The black men who protected a police officer who got separated from his crew

- The Denver protester who was filmed calling out a person who was defacing the statue in front of the Colorado State Capital.

- The often painful conversations and revelations that have been shared. We can’t keep these things to ourselves.

- The actions that people have taken. Speaking up, shutting things down, and being all in.

- The love that has been sent my way from my friends of all colors who have checked on me and that I’ve checked on during this time. I’ve chosen well.

- Figure out the answer to the following question “How does someone else doing well affect me?” There are a lot of people expending a lot of energy keeping people down. So you have to wonder why they fear people being equal or doing well.

## On Technology and the Nature of Work

Once a year for the past 8 years that I’ve blogged, I tend to have a moment where I get worked up about technology and its affect on humanity. At times I’ve felt like the crazy person with a tin foil hat raving about technology. Then, I write a HUGE post about it or record a podcast and then move on.

- The Coronavirus has accelerated a trend that has been happening for years.

- More and more workers are being displaced by technology in business’ continuous search for efficiency.

- We are all adapting to this shift. Think about your daily life. I’ll share mine as an example BEFORE Corona
  - I stopped going the mall regularly. I now regularly shop online for clothing/shoes/etc.
  - I ordered meal kits occasionally and ordered groceries online normally. This means that I’m not using cashier or restaurant services.
  - I didn’t go to the bank from March until the end of May. And, at the end of May I used an ATM vs. going into the branch.

Now, consider what has happened now that COVID has hit

- It will take me months before I eat inside a restaurant. But, I will eat on a patio or order a meal for pick up. Now multiply this action by hundreds of customers. These actions will eliminate jobs even as some restaurants rebound.

- I’ve made the switch to ordering 95% of what I use online:
  - Milk products
  - Groceries
  - Clothes
  - Cleaning products

- Now multiply what I’m doing by millions of people.

What is the point of me bringing this up? These changes in habits are unavoidable given what’s going on. But, there is a cost.

- How people make money and spend money affects how other people are making money.

- The more machines can replace human activity the more financial unrest there will be. That’s something to think about.

My final comment is this. I’m a fan of dystopian novels and movies. Stick with me, this will make sense in a second. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about think of books and movies such as: 1984, Divergent, The Hunger Games, and Ready Player One (not the movie though that movie sucked). Dystopian fiction is an allegory about what is happening now or what could happen in the future. You should be very concerned because fiction has become reality and we are all at risk.

Thank you for listening to the show and I hope that you and yours are safe and well during these difficult times.

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#### Michelle

I am an obsessive foodie, but not self-righteous with it, love travel, meeting new people, helping you look good, and am freaked out by people who don't enjoying reading...something! Grab a Perrier, read my blog, feel free to drop me a line! Hope to hear from you soon.

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### Comments

1. Brandi says

   5 June, 2020 at 2:32 pm

   I have been lurking and listening to you for a while and so enjoy your podcasts. I’m a white female living in a rural area (think 98 percent white) and so appreciate the insight you provide. I have people of color in my life but you have summarized here so many things that I knew and that I thought and that I needed explained to me.

   It’s hard to feel like an ally living where I do but I’ve been using my social media as a way to share the stories and viewpoints of people of color. I will be sure to share your beautifully done podcast. The emotion you bring is tempered by common sense, reason and a kindness that is like a breath of fresh air in a world that should not be so scary and hard for so many. Thank you for being a voice of advice and guidance in so many ways – financially, socially and even for our mental health. Stay safe and be well. Thank you!! ❤️

   Reply

   - Michelle says

     8 June, 2020 at 11:28 am

     Hi Brandi! Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I truly appreciate you listening to my show and your feedback. Sometimes it feels like I’m talking to myself. Sometimes I think that we’re all constantly in learning mode and that this is an incredible moment for the US and the World to truly listen and have real conversations with one another without all of the normal daily distractions. I think that things happen for a reason.

     Reply

     - Brandi says

       8 June, 2020 at 2:28 pm

       Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to myself on my blog and other social media but I’m sure it’s not true for me and know that it isn’t the case for you. I thoroughly appreciate your advice and worldview and look forward to your podcasts.
       We all NEED to be in learning mode because learning and listening and sharing what we’ve gathered is how we evolve and grow as people.
       I am optimistic that meaningful change will come but fear that it will continue to be painful and slow. Meanwhile, continue telling your stories and please keep saying the things that your white friends and listeners need to know. It means a lot to me and am sure that it does others as well!

       Reply

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1. […] J.D.'s note: I'm not a podcast listener, but I listened to this episode. I liked it enough to ask Michelle if I could re-run everything here at GRS. I'm grateful that she agreed. The text here is, essentially, Michelle's outline so it might seem rough at times. I encourage you — if you have the time — to listen to the podcast instead. If you'd rather read/listen at Michelle's site, here's the original. […]

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2. […] J.D.’s note: I’m not a podcast listener, but I listened to this episode. I liked it enough to ask Michelle if I could re-run everything here at GRS. I’m grateful that she agreed. The text here is, essentially, Michelle’s outline so it might seem rough at times. I encourage you — if you have the time — to listen to the podcast instead. If you’d rather read/listen at Michelle’s site, here’s the original. […]

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3. […] J.D.’s note: I’m not a podcast listener, but I listened to this episode. I liked it enough to ask Michelle if I could re-run everything here at GRS. I’m grateful that she agreed. The text here is, essentially, Michelle’s outline so it might seem rough at times. I encourage you — if you have the time — to listen to the podcast instead. If you’d rather read/listen at Michelle’s site, here’s the original. […]

   Reply

4. […] J.D.’s note: I’m not a podcast listener, but I listened to this episode. I liked it enough to ask Michelle if I could re-run everything here at GRS. I’m grateful that she agreed. The text here is, essentially, Michelle’s outline so it might seem rough at times. I encourage you — if you have the time — to listen to the podcast instead. If you’d rather read/listen at Michelle’s site, here’s the original. […]

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5. […] J.D.’s note: I’m not a podcast listener, but I listened to this episode. I liked it enough to ask Michelle if I could re-run everything here at GRS. I’m grateful that she agreed. The text here is, essentially, Michelle’s outline so it might seem rough at times. I encourage you — if you have the time — to listen to the podcast instead. If you’d rather read/listen at Michelle’s site, here’s the original. […]

   Reply

6. […] J.D.’s note: I’m not a podcast listener, but I listened to this episode. I liked it enough to ask Michelle if I could re-run everything here at GRS. I’m grateful that she agreed. The text here is, essentially, Michelle’s outline so it might seem rough at times. I encourage you — if you have the time — to listen to the podcast instead. If you’d rather read/listen at Michelle’s site, here’s the original. […]

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