Financial PTSD - youramericanmoney
Author: Michelle
Description: Recently, I found myself dealing with some intense mental energy. Some positive, some of it not so positive. I was dealing with some depressing towards the end of 2017 and it affected my bottom line. The energy to put myself "out there" and get in front of opportunities just wasn't there for quite awhile. And,…
Date: 2018-03-19T09:00:00+00:00

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# Financial PTSD

posted on 19 March, 2018

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Recently, I found myself dealing with some intense mental energy. Some positive, some of it not so positive. I was dealing with some depressing towards the end of 2017 and it affected my bottom line. The energy to put myself “out there” and get in front of opportunities just wasn’t there for quite awhile. And, yes, that hurt my wallet. Then, I had a situation happen that was outside of my control (but could potentially affect my finances) and Murphy’s Law happen.

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I noticed myself slowly slipping into some of my previous copping mechanisms when life happened:

- Avoidance
- Procrastination
- Feeling overwhelmed.

Then, one day, I realized that I had control over this particular situation and that by taking control I could control the narrative of my story.

## Financial PTSD

Is something that not enough people talk about. It’s the money equivalent of the dirty little secret that people don’t share. It’s not enough that people are uncomfortable talking about money. They are also uncomfortable talking about how it’s possible to be in a good financial situation and then have a moment that triggers bad memories.

In fact, I’m pretty sure that I’ve only read a post by my friend Melanie Lockert from Dear Debt touching on this very subject.

Financial PTSD for me triggers a very real feeling of working at Starbucks and being endlessly worried about basically everything. As a new entrepreneur, there are moments when I question everything that I’m doing.

- Am I working hard enough?

- Am I taking care of myself?

- Am I making my life harder than it needs to be?

Then, I remember how I felt being employed by other people. In all of my jobs except 1 I’ve felt the following:

- Talked down to

- Underappreciated

- Underutilized

- Over-utilized but not compensated enough.

- Uncertainty regarding job security based on the economy and political happenings

But, I would lying if I didn’t come clean and say that working for myself really triggers my financial fears. In fact, it was because of these fears that I held on to side-hustles as long as I have. What if I can’t hack it as an entrepreneur?

That’s bullsh$t, but, it’s important to bring this up. And, most entrepreneurs feel this way. And, as I watch entire industries shut down, and even high-level officials get fired before their pension I understand that there is NO real job security.

## Revenue Changes

My favorite way to make money is via passive income. I absolutely LOVE it. But, the reality is that I will have to earn money in a couple of ways that I don’t love as much because…that’s grown up life. It will take awhile for my passive income to balance out and overtake other revenue streams.

I’ve finally completed the rebranding process for both of my websites. If you need help with switching over your domain work with Grayson Bell from iMark Interactive who ROCKS!! He’s my “go to guy” for tech stuff related to my website.

One of the hardest lessons that I’ve learned about digital business is that there are too many ways to make money. It’s incredibly easy to get distracted by all of the possibilities. And, maybe that’s why people struggle. They focus on doing a billion things instead of focusing on rocking 1 or 2 things, then, moving to the next one.

That’s what I’m focusing on now.

## Income Growth

For the longest time I was very stuck in my head about underearning. I was very conflicted about the fact that I wanted more. More money, more freedom, more power.

But, with income growth that also means doing the following for awhile:

- Working harder-Has it ever been lost on anyone that people who are focusing on connecting with as many opportunities as possible connect with more opportunities? Let’s be honest, not everyone wants to work as hard as you may need to to get the results you would like to achieve. I wish people would be honest about this. When I quit my job at the end of 2014 I was BURN OUT. I had worked like a freaking machine for 10 years. I was absolutely fine with half-a$$ing it for a few years and getting my energy back. I totally admit this. As much as I love to hustle, I wasn’t hustling as hard as I used to because I was perfectly fine going hiking, working on a few projects, and chilling out. Loved every minute of it. But, in order to make more money the level of effort has to shift.

- Focusing-There is an amount of focus that has to happen in order to make the goals that you want to achieve to happen.

- Simplifying-sometimes we make things way too hard. I’m working really hard to keep things as simple as possible. No ridiculous processes or systems. Just sustained focus actions that achieve results.

At this point though, I’m completely rested, and understand how I need to work in order to achieve my final financially related goals.

## Lifestyle Fears

I love my lifestyle. Seriously. In fact, the #1 thing about working for myself is the extreme flexibility. I would be lying if I said that there has been a part of me that has been afraid to lose:

- Hiking and Happy Hours during the afternoon

- Walking in the park

- Spending time working on a patio on warm days (which is what I’m currently doing as I write this post)

- Being able to focus on health and wellness daily

- Spending time with fabulous people

- Traveling when I want to.

You see a pattern. I love my current lifestyle and my motivation not to lose it is the most motivating thing I’ve experienced in a long time.

In order to focus on financial self-care, I’ve had to admit all of this to myself. I’ve also had to admit where I create problems for myself financially because of focusing on lifestyle. It has been hard to admit that after working for 10 years typically 60+ hours a week that I’m reluctant to EVER work like that again.

## Working Smarter

Now, I’m focusing on working smarter. As I grow my passive income I look for ways to make more money in as little time as possible. If I freelance write I work for organizations that are fun to write for, communicate, and pay fast. If I’m dealing with a company that doesn’t do that-I’m GONE. I’ve learned that there is a ridiculous amount of work that needs to be done and that you just have to connect with it.

### It’s Gotten Easier

When I first started as a self-employed person everything felt so overwhelming. Basically, everything felt so hard to do. Now, everything feels really easy because I’ve actually achieved the results that I’m working towards. I’m just focusing on income growth.

In fact, it amazes me how confidently I talk about my online projects and how I am of service to people. And finally, I’m able to convey and believe in the value that I bring to people that I would like to help. Negotiating pay rates, saying “no” to what doesn’t serve me, and pitching creative ideas has been both terrifying and empowering. These actions help me to push back on the financial ideas embedded in my mind from years of negative financial experiences.

I understand that I will always deal with Financial PTSD. And, while that sucks, at least I understand what I need to do in order to be in control of it vs. having it be in control of me.

## Have you ever struggled with financial PTSD?

## What did you do to fight it?

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#### Michelle

I am an obsessive foodie, but not self-righteous with it, love travel, meeting new people, helping you look good, and am freaked out by people who don't enjoying reading...something! Grab a Perrier, read my blog, feel free to drop me a line! Hope to hear from you soon.

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## Reader Interactions

### Comments

1. Kayla Sloan says

   20 March, 2018 at 10:00 am

   I do think it’s true that workings harder and smarter will eventually yield the results you are looking for. Not everyone has the drive to do it, though. Words are cheap. It’s a lot harder to roll up your sleeves and make it happen. I’m glad you are having success.

   Reply

   - Michelle says

     20 March, 2018 at 3:20 pm

     Truth! There is hard work that has to happen, but, as long as people remember that it’s for a “season” in their life vs. forever I think it’s manageable. As a person who used to work like a DOG I have to be honest and say that there has been a certain amount of leeriness about working like that again. HOWEVER, I would much rather work like that for myself than for other people.

     Reply

   - Michelle says

     26 March, 2018 at 8:17 am

     I think that there is a point where you focus…or…you don’t lol!

     Reply

2. Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life says

   20 March, 2018 at 11:39 am

   Absolutely, I do. You read one of my recent posts that worked through the long term PTSD I have from the Great Recession and how it’s impacted my outlook on the upcoming (whenever it is) recession.
   I am not prepared to revisit my massive hustle years this round, like you I value the flexibility of this lifestyle way too much, and it makes me nervous to think that I don’t have that commitment to get through the next recession. But because we’re not scraping the bottom of the barrel like I was before, that should be ok! Taking our history into account is important but so is accurately assessing the challenges in front of us.

   Reply

   - Michelle says

     20 March, 2018 at 3:22 pm

     I’m very pessimistic when it comes to other people being in control of how I make money. And, because the last Recession was SOOO hard for me personally, there are moments where I’m “triggered” (hate that word) but it’s true. I’m really focusing on getting things taken care of this year so that when the next Recession hits I’m working from a position of power vs. pain.

     Reply

3. Jason Butler says

   29 March, 2018 at 6:55 am

   You made some great points in this post. There are tons of ways to make money online. I’ve tried to do too many at one time. When I focused on just a few of them, I was able to finally see results.

   Reply

   - Michelle says

     31 March, 2018 at 6:49 pm

     Thanks Jason! I’m focusing on just a couple of things at a time. It’s so much easier.

     Reply

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