Setting Boundaries and Telling People "No" - youramericanmoney
Author: Michelle
Description: This will be a short post. One of the hardest things that I’ve had to do is to feel comfortable with telling people “No.” I was super comfortable telling my former student clients “no” at work because the requests they were making would likely get them kicked out of the country, jailed, or slapped with […]
Date: 2016-03-16T09:00:00+00:00

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# Setting Boundaries and Telling People “No”

posted on 16 March, 2016

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This will be a short post. One of the hardest things that I’ve had to do is to feel comfortable with telling people “No.” I was super comfortable telling my former student clients “no” at work because the requests they were making would likely get them kicked out of the country, jailed, or slapped with a harassment lawsuit due to cultural differences.

But, saying “no” to people that you care about, is one of the hardest “no’s” that you can voice. That type of “no” is usually setting a boundary from a behavior or expectation that you no longer want to manage or meet.

No

No, I don’t have the time to that project. No, I don’t want to run an errand for you. No, I can’t loan you money. No, I’m not buying you coffee. Just, no. I have discovered that in the past year I’ve just become a lot more protective of my…self.

It feels like I’ve hit a turning point where I try as much as I can to be in alignment with what I can do for other people and making sure that my needs aren’t forgotten in the process. I’ve ticked through most of my list that I started with when I first started blogging. I am now working through my last 3 priorities. I tend to think that the last 3 are the hardest to get done. But, I’m feeling pretty freaking focused.

In this moment I am unwilling to waver from what I’m trying to do for myself and for others. If you ask me for something that takes me away from that purpose I will say “no” kindly and I hope you give me the grace to do what I need to do for me.

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#### Michelle

I am an obsessive foodie, but not self-righteous with it, love travel, meeting new people, helping you look good, and am freaked out by people who don't enjoying reading...something! Grab a Perrier, read my blog, feel free to drop me a line! Hope to hear from you soon.

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## Reader Interactions

### Comments

1. hollyatclubthrifty says

   16 March, 2016 at 6:28 am

   Michelle, I totally feel you here! Some people push and don’t know where to stop. It sucks, but you’re right that all you can do is say “no” and move on.

   Reply

   - Michelle says

     16 March, 2016 at 7:49 am

     I am “owning” my “No!” right now. I only have so much bandwidth for stuff and anything that doesn’t make me feel good, or move me forward, or is necessary=NO!

     Reply

2. Tonya@Budget and the Beach says

   16 March, 2016 at 7:55 am

   I think you know, or should I say no (lol) this is something I’ve worked on the last several months. Boundaries are super important!

   Reply

   - Michelle says

     16 March, 2016 at 8:25 am

     BOUNDARIES!! Aagh! It’s so much work and so important.

     Reply

3. Money Beagle says

   16 March, 2016 at 12:45 pm

   I once worked for a small company and started taking on some small clients of my own. My boss came with me to a meeting and the client asked if we could do something by a different day. I told them no, and then offered a different approach, either that we could get less done by their day or get what they wanted done by a different day. Months later my boss, the owner of the company, admitted that he almost stepped over me and offered to give them what they wanted. But he didn’t, and he later watched as the customer was fully satisfied with what we offered and delivered. I actually taught him to say no! For years before that, he would work 15-20 hour days on some projects, but after seeing my approach, he realized that he could say ‘no’ and still have fully happy clients.

   Reply

   - Michelle says

     16 March, 2016 at 1:26 pm

     You do realize that you made a HUGE difference to your boss. You made him feel empowered in a way that he obviously hadn’t been feeling before. I am sure that he was a lot happier saying “no” when necessary and using approaches that were better for him as a business person. I bet his service went way up and customers were happy too.

     Reply

4. Catherine Alford says

   16 March, 2016 at 1:09 pm

   Saying No is so powerful, but so hard. It’s definitely important though!

   Reply

   - Michelle says

     16 March, 2016 at 1:28 pm

     I just am unable to manage everyone else’s needs anymore-before mine. It’s the whole “if mom isn’t happy-no one is happy!”

     Reply

5. Jason Butler says

   18 March, 2016 at 7:49 am

   Saying no is definitely hard, but for people to prosper at times it has to be done. A few months ago I had to tell my brother no about something. It hurt, but it was the right move.

   Reply

   - Michelle says

     18 March, 2016 at 10:16 am

     I am unable to say “yes” to anything that won’t move me forward. I am super focused right now on making things happen. I just don’t have time for stuff that blocks me from my goals.

     Reply

### Trackbacks

1. […] don’t like to say it. But, Michelle at the Shop My Closet Project wrote a great post about the importance of saying ‘no‘ during certain […]

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