How to Change YOUR Role in YOUR Story - youramericanmoney
Author: Michelle
Description: Are you frustrated with how your life is going? Do you wish you could change your role in your personal story? Make more, fall in love, listen to the show
Date: 2020-02-24T10:00:00+00:00

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# How to Change YOUR Role in YOUR Story

posted on 24 February, 2020

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There is power in the words that we use to describe ourselves, our situations, and our realities. In fact, before I name a product, event, etc. I think a lot about the power in the name. When I first started as a money blogger, I was focused on sharing my debt repayment journey. And, during the course of that journey I side-hustled, I learned to make money in different ways and my mindset changed. What I didn’t realize was that I’d fallen victim to something that many of us do-I became accidentally tied to the very identity that I was trying to change. I was talking about debt, side-hustling, and then my debt again all the time. And, by doing that, I was solidifying the narrative and the role that I was an indebted person not only to myself but to other people as well. In fact, I have another example to share about accidentally becoming too attached to the wrong narrative or role in our own personal stories. A friend of mine recently wrote a viral post about losing her virginity at 41 years old. It’s a very thoughtful piece and I encourage everyone to read it, I’ll include a link in the show notes. Basically, she wasn’t a virgin because of religion or lack of opportunity, she dated a ton. But, for some reason, being a virgin became her role, her identity that she owned. She was even interviewed by Katie Couric on her show about it. My friend was frustrated (ahem) by her inability to get past this issue and interestingly enough had a couple of transformative conversations about her situation. I will share one of them because I want you to read about the other. In one of the conversations and I quote loosely her therapist helped her see that she was basically in an abusive relationship with herself. She had to learn to let go of the role that she was playing in her life in order to attract what she was looking for: love. I’m happy to say that she’s now married and expecting and I literally saw her this weekend and she’s glowing. Her story really got me to thinking about the roles that we play in our own stories and how we can change it so that we can attract the outcome that we’re looking for. Listeners you leave with 5 steps to change your role in your personal story.

*In order for me to support my blogging activities, I may receive monetary compensation or other types of remuneration for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial and/or link to any products or services from this blog. Please read my disclosure here.*

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## Show Sponsor

I love helping online entrepreneurs make money selling what they already know and I do this in two different ways. The first is via my course “Make Money with Ebooks.” If you have a book that you would like to get written and need accountability, community, and basically a cheat sheet on how to market your book, this course is for you. The second way I help people make money selling what they know is via my Brand Building Group Coaching program launching soon. Schedule a free 20 minute clarity call with me to work on getting your future products out there into the world.

## Listen to the Show

## Show Notes

As a person who has been engaged in a long-term debt-repayment journey, I’ve recently begun to question how I talk about my money and how it affects my mindset. When you’re paying off debt as long as I have, it’s very easy to focus on lack, mistakes, and the past. You’re constantly living in a semi-stressful state of regret for all of the financial decisions that you’ve made.

And, it’s hardly surprising because you’re literally in a constant state of cleaning the financial crap from before. I didn’t realize that I’d accidentally taken on a role that affected my ability to do the one thing that would help pay off debt faster: attract wealth.

Just like my friend had to believe that she was worthy of attracting love and intimacy, I had to begin to reframe what I was telling myself. Instead of being mad at myself and low-key self-sabotaging my success because I was afraid of attracting and creating a new identity for myself, I had to do something to change my way of thinking. In my case, the new identity had to do with attracting wealth and abundance into my life. Kicking that scarcity mindset to the curb has been much harder than I ever could have imagined and that showed up in my business in a very specific way, I was afraid to give up side-hustles. Never mind that I have made money through course sales, affiliates, events, freelance writing, sponsorships, and book sales. I just couldn’t give up side-hustling because I subconsciously was focused on lack. I didn’t quite believe that I could make money doing what I wanted to do…even though I was. So, my income stagnated and didn’t really grow.

I had to change my role in my story.

## Step #1

- Recognize how you’re victimizing yourself in your own story.
  - Not deserving of love
  - Financial stability
  - Are an imposter in your field
  - Money is hard

And, recognize your current role with compassion. There’s a reason why you’re addicted to this story that you keep telling yourself.

## Step # 2

- Flip the script-You will have to tell yourself DAILY what you currently don’t believe in the cells of your body until you believe it.
  - You’re worthy of love
  - You’re worthy of financial stability and wealth
  - You’re not an imposter but an expert
  - Money is easy, you just have to get in front of opportunities to make it.

## Step #3

- Embrace the steps that you need to take in order to attract the end result that you’re working towards.
  - Date
  - Focus on earning more
  - Sit down and validate your expertise, get testimonials from other people
  - Focus on earning money in the ways that you’re trying to until it feels easy

## Step #4

- Seek help and community during your journey to the end result that you’re working towards.
  - Work with a therapist
  - Go to yoga
  - Practice mindfulness
  - Journal
  - Go to religious services if that’s what helps you find solace

## Step #5

Do the work. This one is a slightly bitter pill to swallow. Getting in front of the life that you want for yourself will require that you get in the trenches and do the work. Get uncomfortable, do the things that you’re avoiding doing.

- Getting outside of your house so that you can meet people to date. Or, getting on the dreaded dating app.

- Pitching each week in order to get in front of:
  - Clients
  - Course sales
  - Freelance writing
  - Affiliate sales

- Dealing with the role of risk in connection to achieving the results that you want in your life.

- Recognize when what you’re doing isn’t moving you forward and letting that old role, reaction, etc. finally go.

We play different roles in the different stories in our lives. Whether it’s as a friend, your parents’ child, as a co-worker etc. So, it’s very possible that you may be unhappy with more than one area of your life. It’s my view that if you focus on one area that the positive change in that area will create a ripple affect in other parts of your life.

Kicking side-hustling to the curb and believing that money was easy to make took a HUGE mental shift. In fact, tt took me a LONG time to get to the point where I would let side-hustling go. In fact, when I worked my last shift I was so damn ready to move forward in a different direction. I just had to get fed up with roadblocking what I wanted in my life.

I want my new role in my personal story to be something along the lines of:

- Michelle Jackson is married, wealthy, fit, and has a baby. That is what I want for myself and I am excited to see how being mindful about the role that I have been playing in my own story helps to attract or repeal what I want in my life.

## Post Mentioned

- I Waited Until I was 41 To Lose My Virginity, Was It Worth It?

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#### Michelle

I am an obsessive foodie, but not self-righteous with it, love travel, meeting new people, helping you look good, and am freaked out by people who don't enjoying reading...something! Grab a Perrier, read my blog, feel free to drop me a line! Hope to hear from you soon.

#### Latest posts by Michelle (see all)

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