I’ve never really loaned money to people. Initially that was because I was ridiculously generous and also super disorganized with my money. Then, over time I just didn’t have the stomach for chasing after people to pay me back. So, when I was asked for money I just gave what I could and let it go.
Then as time went on I just continued to work that policy. I don’t loan money-I give. Currently I have line item in my budget for this type of giving or for when family asks for money. I don’t want to be in an awkward position if I’m asked for help. I also don’t want to endanger my financial well-being because I gave to freely.
Having a policy of giving instead of loaning is really nice because I only give what I can afford to lose. Or, if you want to think about it a different way it’s my tithe or good karma policy. People who have their money together typically aren’t the ones asking for money. Or, maybe they had their money together and are having a hard time getting a handle on their overall situation. I have been that person who is trying my best and can’t get a handle on things because I was making too little, was too disorganized, or was overwhelmed by my personal situation.
I have also been the person who was loaned money and wasn’t able to pay it back. I was that girl. I was also the person who loaned money and wasn’t paid back. So, I’ve been on both sides of this issue.
I prefer to give and feel good about how it makes me feel to say “Here you go, it’s a gift.” I’ve also done this when treating my friends. I will treat my friends to coffee, etc from time time because I love treating my friends well. I’ll completely forget about those little acts of generosity until my friends buy me something and remind me that I bought them a coffee. It’s really nice when that happens 🙂
The more organized my finances become the more at ease I become with my acts of generosity. As I am focusing more and more on being content and satisfied with what I have the more money seems to be flowing my way.
I am happy with what I have and am very aware that even though things aren’t perfect I have more than enough and am very fortunate.
I think a lot of us spend way too much time focusing on what we don’t have (been there, done that) by shifting focus on what we do have you become a lot more empowered. Even though I am in the process of actively growing my money I don’t want to become cheap or stingy. I want to be able to help others and empower myself as I do that.
Do you loan money? Do you have a philosophy on loaning money?
What has your experience with loaning money been?
Latest posts by Michelle (see all)
- How Work Policies Against Black Women Birthed a Love of the Soft Life - 20 March, 2024
- How Taylor Swift’s IP Victory Could Change the Business of Music - 28 February, 2024
- Why Don’t More Personal Finance Content Creators Talk About Policy - 16 January, 2024
I prefer to only give money when I know exactly what it is for and support it 100%. My mom is constantly asking for money. Instead of giving it to her, I tell her I will pay her cell bill or buy her groceries.
It’s always hard to manage family requests especially if it’s your parents. I have a line item in my budget for these types of requests and am building up a saving account to use for this purpose. I just give what I can without messing up my expenses. By having a line item for this I’m already ahead of the game. With my charitable giving I also want to make sure that all of the money is going towards the organization and clientele that I’m donating to.
This is really smart. It is the opposite of how I was raised- my parents encouraged us to draw up official loans for each other. I always hung onto my allowance and birthday money and my siblings were always broke. Many loan documents were drawn up and dutifully signed, but no one ever paid me back. I think my parents had good intentions, but this led to a lot of bad feelings. I eventually forgave all of their debts and now I just give money rather than loan it. There should be no economy among brothers (or sisters.)
I’m an only child so it’s hard for me to imagine this. I do see what your parents were trying to do-teach a money lesson. I just don’t want to make a big deal about money with family because that can create deep wounds and those are hard to fix in a family. I just have a line item in my budget so that I’m already anticipating this expense. I think there is a name for these kind of savings accounts…I just forget what it is LOL!
I feel ya! The more you give, the more you get 🙂
I just give and go from there! I don’t want to keep track-I’m not a bank.
I was just thinking of a Today’s Tip on this very topic. Exactly we are not in the banking business. Plus, it does change the “taste in your mouth” of a relationship!
I am not a bank! So, when I am asked for help I give only what I can then I forget about it! I also have a line item set up this type of giving. I should mention that I DON’T tell people other than my blogging peeps and readers about this line item. I just have it there…just in case..because things come up.
I give money also, but only to my mom or other close relatives. My mom always does nice things for me, so I reciprocate with money or helping her out. Personally, I find it feels better to give and like you said chasing people around for money does not. Besides, my mom would do almost anything in her power to make me happy 🙂
I 100% agree!! I love giving to my mom and as her hard work got me to where I am right now I appreciate her sacrifices. My mom also would move heaven and earth to make me happy if she could.
I also prefer to give, although not only to be ‘nice’. I also find that it frees me up from bitterness because someone doesn’t fulfill the obligation they agreed to. I would rather not deal with having my heart or a relationship affected over money.
Giving is a very freeing experience. I think people always expect things from others. I just let it go and see what happens. I have enough on my mind without taking stock on what other people have done for me. If I’m good to the people around me they will be good to me.